Monday, January 25, 2010

The Drama Queen Diaries

"Would you PLEASE get your socks and shoes on! Would you PLEASE brush your teeth! Would you PLEASE brush your hair .....NOW!" Yes, it is the same as it was yesterday, and it will be the same tomorrow. We are running out the door to get to the bus stop 2 miles away... only to see the big yellow beast whizzing by before we get there. AAGGHH!!! My nerves are shot..yet again.
Mornings are rough. At times they drive me outright insane. But this, my dear friends is the daily struggle in the life of my child with ADHD. She forgets that we have to brush our hair every day. She can't organize her thoughts without a list. She gets overwhelmed, mouthy, and weepy. She is a handful. A beautiful, vivacious, and at times, downright difficult 10 year old with a whopping case of ADHD. Believe me, I will be hiding under the bed when the teen years come around. I am afraid, very afraid.
When I begged God for a baby, after two years of trying to get pregnant, I never imagined how wonderfully frightening, completely fulfilling, and amazingly difficult being a parent could be. When this big, pink, screaming baby was dropped in my arms, I thought, OK, what now? She continued to scream through 3 months of colic. What was I thinking? THIS is motherhood? Crazy. I must have been crazy.
That little one, who was 10 pounds and 5 ounces, now looks me in the eye, wears my clothes, and has surpassed my shoe size. That "little" girl has changed me. She has made me a woman- she has forced me to grow, as a believer, and as a mother. I watch her with her little sister. She loves her. Deeply. She adores her. I have never seen such unconditional love between sisters. It is almost as if my youngest is saying, "Yep, this is my crazy, rammy, beautiful sister, and I love her for who she is, and not what everyone thinks she should be". I need to take a lesson from that insightful toddler. My Elizabeth is my heart. Are there times when I want to pack her bags and ship her to Borneo? YES! Almost every day. Especially in the morning. On the other side of that golden coin is my 10 yr old baby girl; loving and giving, passionate and compassionate, driven and confident. When she loves you, she loves you deeply. Sometimes we need to step back and take a look at the big picture. We need to be thankful for our blessings, our trials, and for all of the things that make us who we are. Life can change on a dime. If I lost her tomorrow, would I have regrets? Yes, we all would. It is my job as her Momma to make that list of regrets as short as possible.
I spent a few days at the shore with my Grandmother for her birthday and to get a "Momma" break. I missed my girl, I truly missed her. She has the day off from school today, and I intend to have some fun with my whirlwind princess.
God, I thank you for my crazy beautiful life, with all of it's trials and tribulations, and for my children who own my heart. You are truly gracious. Help me to be a better Mama than I was yesterday, and an even better Mama tomorrow.

1 comment:

Pocketful Of Sunshine said...

An absolutely beautiful, heart warming and truthful reminder that motherhood is never what we envisioned it to be but we wouldn't change it for the world!!!!! :)